Resources

My BDSM journey started began in 2017...at least consciously. Prior to partnering with an amazing person who had the experience, knowledge, and language to introduce me to the most hidden parts of myself, I would shrink, deny, and do anything to avoid my truth. Nearly six years later, here are some of my favorite educators/reads/sites that I've learned from.

  1. I love a good quiz lol...*iykyk*. This assessment helped me to interrogate some of my desires AND identify some of my yucks and yums. I tend to take it every few months because my pleasure is expansive and ever changing. It's also a really helpful starting point for developing your own vetting questions!

  2. For my visual folks... Click here for the Human Sex Map
    I learned about it from Marla Renee Stewart, a PHENOMENAL sexologist, educator, and dope individual. Interestingly, I attended one of her spanking workshops back in 2014ish...a few years before really acknowledging that I love impact play. I enjoy pleasure mapping (which is different than this map, but that works well in tandem).

  3. Speaking of Marla, click her for her website. She also is a co-founder of an amazing conference called Sex Down South!!! Whether you're kink-curious or about that life, SDSCon is great for folks interested in learning, building community, and having all kinds of experiences lol. I really loved that there was a desire wall, where people could leave sticky notes with the types of experiences they were hoping to have. Reading those sticky notes was so exciting lol!!!

  4. Ahhhhh SDSCon...There aren't enough words to describe what an experience it is. This year, I had the pleasure of witnessing Perle Noir deliver a paradigm shifting burlesque performance. I also connected with some beautiful people from all over the world. I literally cannot wait til next year because bayyyyyybe... That beautiful set of floggers I purchased while attending this year will be in full use. Click here to learn more about Sex Down South Conference.

  5. One of the connections I made at SDSCon was with Dr. Wendesha!!! We attended a workshop by Dr. Clarissa Francis (@therealhotgirldoc on IG). I really enjoyed listening and learning from her, and she really got me free from some internalized shame/compartmentalization of self. Click here to learn more about Dr. Wendesha, the Sensible Sexpert

  6. 2 years ago, at the virtual SDSCon, Carly S. facilitated a blowjob workshop that was *chef's kiss* brilliant. I started following her on IG and was obsessed with her moniker, Queen of Wands. Needless to say, I've learned a lot about different toys to incorporate, and her reviews are SUPER helpful. Click here to learn more about Carly


Stay tuned for more! This list will be periodically updated as I continue to document my own Kink and Pleasure journey.